Heaven
by MartaJones
Summary: Just a story that woke me up from a dead sleep and demanded it get written. Goes with NOTHING I've written, just a piece of work that I wish ME3 had included. This is NOT in my "Between the Scenes" universe, however...just a drabble that hit me.


Her choice made, she committed to it and saw it through, just as she had done every other choice in her life. The pain came, and she was okay with that, pain was like an old friend or an old enemy; familiar and comforting in its own way. The pain built and built, becoming more and more her focus, then she felt her body explode from the pain. Yep, she thought…dying sucked just as bad the second time around.

Then suddenly the pain was gone and she whimpered, it was like a switch had been thrown. The overpowering heat and pain was just gone and suddenly she was warm and comfortable and instead of the Reapers be-damned humming she heard…sea gulls?

As she considered that, she realized she was laying on something relatively soft and cursed; if Cerberus had brought her back again, she really was going to kill the Illusive man. Suddenly she realized she'd already done that, and for some reason, that was hugely funny. So she laughed. She kept her eyes closed because, for the first time in she had no idea how long, she didn't hurt, and she was relatively comfortable. Then a voice spoke and she frowned, that was strange, it was strangely familiar with a raspy, melodic quality that she knew very well.

"Siha? Wake up now, Siha…"

Cracking her eyelids, she found herself staring in to the face of Thane. The Drell Assassin stood, leaning over her, his big black eyes blinking twice: two membranes, one from the below one from the side. It was…odd to see Thane. But she couldn't remember why.

"Siha, you need to sit up now. Can you make it?" Frowning, there was something important that she needed to understand….something to do…she said,

"Thane? I need…..I have to…", but Thane stopped her words with a gentle hand on her shoulder, the warmth in his eyes, the gentleness was a balm. Whatever it was, it couldn't be that important right?

Thane said, "You need do nothing more, Siha…you have done the impossible yet again and now you are finished. Can you sit up?"

Shepard nodded, and with Thane's help, she sat up, gazing around her at the beach, hearing the waves hitting the shore, smelling the salt on the air. She saw a familiar figure down the beach, a Salarian who was bent over, looking at something with great interest, and she whispered, "Mordin"

And she knew.

"I'm dead, aren't I?", her voice was hoarse, and when Thane put the cup of cool, crisp water to her lips, she drank greedily. When it was gone, she looked up at Thane, who held her gaze steady, his eyes filled with that gentle light she'd grown used to, and missed tremendously. She smiled, and it wobbled a little as tears filled her eyes, "I missed you so much, Thane….but I got the bastard who killed you….."

Thane nodded, "I know, and thank you. But that is the past now…this is the present and if you are ready let me help you to your feet… She nodded and Thane helped her up, and she glanced around, seeing the ocean to one side and a wooden boardwalk.

She frowned, "I really wanted you to have your desert….it's only fair really….how do I make sure…"

Thane seemed amused, "There are no more battles, Siha…I have my desert, it is right over there, see" And Shepard looked beyond Thane's shoulder, and sure enough, there was desert. It didn't make sense, so close to the ocean, but Thane used his thumb to stroke her cheek and said,  
"Do not fight so, Siha…I told you , the battles are done for us. Remember what I told you? There are times to fight, and times to lay your weapons down…now your time."

"Hey Capt.…bought time you woke up. I figured you were intent on sleeping on the sand all day. I guess that's okay, but not real interesting, right?" Thane helped her to a sitting position, and then to stand and while still holding her whispered, "Time to let the past go, Siha…..and move forward.."

The woman beyond Shepard strode forward and despite Thane's words, Shepard felt the familiar pangs of guilt as she said, "Ash….god Ash, I'm sorry…I've thought and thought about it and I can't…"

Ashley interrupted her, her eyes warm, her hand, when she grasped Shepard's, "You did the right thing, Shep…you made the right call. Now stop beating yourself up for a decision you made out of necessity and let it go."

And Shepard felt as though a thousand pounds had been removed from her chest, leaving her lighter and grinning. Ash returned the smile and said, "Look, Shep…the past is done….let it go and just embrace now."

Shepard felt herself grow stronger and with a gentle squeeze of Thane's wrist, stepped away, standing on her own for the first time since she'd opened her eyes. She reached out and embraced Ash, just because it seemed the thing to do; and to her surprise, Ash returned the hug, warm and real. Ash pulled away first and said, "Look, Shep? I know you've got things to do….but if you ever need me, I'm just over there." Shepard nodded as Ash gave her one more squeeze and moved off.

Lia glanced at Thane's familiar face and said, "I keeping you from Ikira…you should go…"

Thane gave her another one armed hug and said, warmly, "I have an eternity to spend with Ikira, Siha…I believe I can spend a few minutes greeting an old friend who brought be back to life, gave me a chance to redeem myself….you must stop putting everyone ahead of you now, Siha….it's time to live and love for yourself. No duty, no tasks…just love and relaxation."

Looking around, she saw people and different places, all co-existing in peace. "So this is heaven, huh?"

Thane shrugged, "I do not know if your heaven is the same as our over the sea, but this is a resting place, yes. And you've earned a little rest."

Lia looked around, catching sight of the Salarian on the beach, "Is that…"

Thane nodded, "Yes that is Mordin. He is doing something with seashells I have no idea what. He felt bad when he arrive that he hadn't cured Keprels…but I assured him that his work would go a long way to help others…I am at peace with my life and my death….as should you be, Shepard. Once you are settled, you should go speak to him. I know he is most anxious to speak to you."

Shepard paused, trying to remember, but all that had come before was becoming vague in her head. A story that she's head somewhere, instead of her life. She frowned, "I've been here before…"

Thane nodded, "Yes Siha…before the Lazarus project…."

"But I didn't remember….I had no idea this was here…."

Thane smiled warmly at her again, "When you go back, your memories are locked, for lack of a better word. If you were allowed to remember, can you imagine the difficulty that you'd have had living, if all you could think about was peaceful rest here. That made sense, but there was something…something she needed to do. The more she tried to remember, the more she anxious, until Thane said, "Siha…relax. There is no time limit here…no tasks other than those you have chosen. Your meeting is in place…and you will go when you are ready."

Suddenly, Shepard remembered. The kiss, talking of hybrid babies; Garrus' insubordination ordering her to come back, to him . The deal they made to meet at the bar. She glanced up at Thane and said, "How do…how do you now if someone is here or not?"

Thane smiled warmly again and released her to stand on her own, though he continued to hold her hand, "If they are not, they will arrive momentarily. What seems forever on the other side is but a moment here. You are thinking of Garrus"

Lia nodded, "Yeah..I need to find the bar, Thane…. Need to see…..to see if he's here…."

Thane smiled at her, pointing to a building she hadn't remembered seeing before,  
"That is the bar, Siha. Go on…but do not forget, you have many friends who wish to speak to you….who have loved you. Come to us as you can...but go first, I know your mind is elsewhere."

Thane didn't sound upset, or jealous…but Shepard felt the need to apologize, but Thane stopped her, "No, Siha…as I said, the past is over, all we have is the present."

Thane let her go with a gentle push toward the boardwalk and she staggered a little, climbing the stairs. She was headed across the wooded planking when two familiar faces stepped in front of her. One very familiar, the other slightly so. She recognized the familiar face and felt a surge of joy, then sorrow, "SAMARA! God's I'm sorry, Samara….I guess I got you killed…"

Samara smiled gently, reaching out to her, "No, Shepard, you did not. I chose my path and I walked it as I should have. I am content now."

Shepard felt the guilt drain away and said, warmly, "How are you?" recognizing the woman next to Samara, she said, "Rilla…I'm so glad you're here with your mother… What about Morinth?"

Samara's smile faltered and she frowned, " Morinth has a bit before she is ready for this place Shepard. But I have faith…" beside, the other Asari nodded and smiled at Shepard.

Looking over Samara's shoulder, she saw the building she was looking for and said, "We'll catch up later, Samara…right now, I need to see a Turian about a future…."

Samara smiled, a true, warm smile, and squeezed her shoulder, "You are always welcome where I am, Shepard…but for now, go and find him. Do not waste another minute…."

Shepard smiled at her, and turned, making her way to the bar. She met several others she recognized, but none seemed upset that she needed to go. Reaching the bar, another familiar voice stopped her,  
"Not a minute to spare for an old man Shepard?  
Shepard swung around to come face with Anderson, who smiled at her, his expression warm and friendly; even loving n a father-figure type of way. She paused in her headlong rush and threw her arms around him, whispering,

"I did it, Anderson. I did it…"

Anderson smiled at her, warmly and said, "Shepard… know you did. Later on, when you're done here…come find me. We'll catch up. A couple of old soldiers gone to their rest…"

Shepard nodded again and turned, refusing to let anything else delay her. She rushed into the building and found herself in every bar she'd ever seem. Afterlife, Omega, the pit on Skym. A bar was a bar, apparently, even in heaven.

Her eyes searched the bar, looking for that familiar form, half afraid, yet hopeful that she wouldn't find him. A momentary feeling of sadness that she hoped to find him here, but she reminded herself there was no Shepard without Vakarkian. Just then, a familiar, reverbing voice spoke, filled with humor and love,

"There you are, Shepard….I thought I was going to have to pay for my drinks myself…."

Turning, Shepard grasped his forearms, as he grasped hers and said, "Garrus…would I do that to you? Remember what I said…there is no Shepard without Vakarian!"

Garrus threw back his head and laughed and sad, pulling her forward so he could rest his forehead against hers, "and no Vakarian without Shepard…."

She frowned as she stood in the circle of his arms, content and happy, finally with nothing demanding her attention except him. Glancing up at him, she said, "I'm sorry you had to join me so quickly, Garrus… wish…"

But Garrus shook his head, putting a finger over her lips as he said, "No, Lia…the galaxy would have been a lot more empty without you in it. I'm right where I want to be." She smiled tremulously and said,

"Ok…I get it, live in the now, forget the past. Thank god you're here Garrus…" and she stepped forward, raising up to press her own forehead against him.

How long they stood like that, neither had a clue, but eventually, Garrus turned, wrapping his arms around her and guided her to the bar, "Come on there, you owe me a drink, and I mean to collect before I take you and show you our place."

She paused, looking at him in "We get to stay? Together?" Garrus looked amused,

"This is heaven, Lia…can you imagine the problems if we couldn't?"

Smiling, Shepard looked around, this wasn't exactly what she'd imagine Heaven would be like. By then her eyes landed on her love the man who had given her strength to do what was necessary and she smiled linking her arm through his, she headed them toward the bar, happy and content, maybe for the first time in her life, "Come on, Vakarian…I owe you a drink…and then, maybe, an eternity of being a one Turian woman"  
From the top floor of the bar, a figure watched, happiness in every aspect of its form,

And the deity saw it, and it was good.


End file.
